The Importance of Assertiveness in Recovery: Building Confidence and Boundaries

Anyone can benefit from assertiveness. However, assertiveness in recovery is especially important because it allows communication of needs, boundaries, and commitment without imposing anything on others. Those who can implement assertiveness in their communication style are more likely to feel confident and achieve and maintain sobriety. 

Assertiveness is a skill; learning how to talk assertively takes time. Assertive communication training is often part of one’s recovery process and a skill that can be developed during psychotherapy. We at Little Creek Pennsylvania Rehab see assertive communication as a necessary tool for recovery and growth, and we strive to both rely on it and develop it in our clients. Keep reading to learn about all the benefits of assertiveness and how to introduce it to your behavior.

Understanding Assertiveness in Drug and Alcohol Recovery

Assertive communication is an important aspect of the recovery process and the maintenance of sobriety. With assertive communication, you can say no without judgment or fear of repercussions. Therefore, assertive communication in addiction recovery represents a tool that can benefit you in multiple ways. For instance, research shows that those who go through assertiveness training show lower scores on drug use tendencies, stress, anxiety, and depression. They also have higher scores on quality of life.

What is Assertiveness?

To be assertive, one needs to be honest and take responsibility for their actions. The American Psychological Association (APA) defines assertiveness as an adaptive communication style in which individuals express their feelings and needs directly while maintaining respect for others. APA also warns about a lack of assertiveness potentially contributing to depression and anxiety and that maladaptive approaches to assertiveness may manifest as aggression.

The Link Between Assertiveness and Confidence

Assertiveness in recovery requires three Cs: confidence, clarity, and control. Confidence refers to your ability to handle the situation and stay composed. Clarity of the message means it’s easy to understand and not exaggerated. Finally, control means tracking the other person’s reaction and modulating yourself if necessary. Confidence is arguably the most important of all three, as being assertive can be seen as being confident enough to express your opinions and needs clearly and effectively while also valuing those of others. 

The link between assertiveness and confidence also goes the other way around. Practicing assertiveness in communication can build confidence and self-esteem.

Benefits of Assertiveness in Maintaining Sobriety

Being assertive helps boost self-esteem, earn respect from others, and reduce stress. While these benefits of assertiveness can apply to anyone, they are especially important in recovery. 

During their stay at rehab Wilkes Barre PA, people often realize how they were wronged or how they wronged others. It could be that you were not able to communicate your needs and feelings honestly, making you develop unhealthy coping mechanisms such as addiction, or it could be that during your substance abuse, you hurt others in different ways.

Developing assertive communication skills can help you make amends or avoid repeating mistakes in expressing your needs and desires. With assertive communication, you will be able to say no and work on building trust and confidence, both of which are important for maintaining sobriety.

Barriers to Assertiveness in Recovery

Knowing all the benefits of assertiveness in achieving and maintaining sobriety, you can consciously decide to implement assertiveness in recovery. Still, you might face some barriers in trying to exert a certainness.

What Are the Five Barriers of Assertiveness?

These are five typical barriers to assertiveness:

• Fear of conflict. You may worry that being assertive can cause anger, rejection, or retaliation from others. This fear of negative consequences is a fear of conflict, and it makes many people avoid engaging in assertive communication in recovery. 
• Lack of skills. Knowing you lack the skills to communicate assertively may prevent you from trying. You might not be sufficiently familiar with assertiveness, lack practice, or haven’t had opportunities to try it before. You might struggle with identifying your feelings or needs, be unfamiliar with eye statements, or lack knowledge of using appropriate body language or tone of voice.
• Low self-esteem. Lacking self-confidence means doubting your own Worth or abilities, or you might even feel ashamed for having feelings and needs. You might also be preoccupied with others’ opinions of you, preventing you from communicating your opinion in an assertive way.
• Cultural or social norms. You might have grown up in a family or community that poses pressures and expectations, impacting how you communicate. It could be that you were not allowed to express your needs in the past, so you don’t know how to do it now.
• Resistance from others. Others might not be used to certain communication and resist when you try to communicate this way. Other people may be passive, aggressive, or manipulative, and this could be a well-established communication modality, posing a barrier to assertive communication addiction recovery.

How to Overcome These Barriers

Some of these barriers to assertiveness are under your control, while others you may not be able to impact. For instance, you can’t fight cultural norms or resistance from others. You can only maintain your assertiveness and respect for others and work on avoiding falling into traps set by other people who lack assertiveness.

When it comes to those obstacles that are under your control or influence, there are several things you can try to become assertive:

• Prepare yourself for negative outcomes. This tip can help you overcome the fear of conflict. First, you need to recognize that assertiveness is not the same as aggression and that everybody has the right to express their opinions or needs constructively. Furthermore, you can prepare yourself for the possible reactions of others, positive or negative. You can practice handling negative consequences calmly and respectfully.
• Work on your self-image. A more positive self-image can boost your confidence, making you value your opinions and attitudes and express them respectfully and without fear. To improve your self-image, you may look back at your successes, be reminded of the positive image that other people have of you, and avoid self-criticizing.
• Acquire and practice assertive skills. We at Little Creek Recovery include assertive training during your stay at our inpatient drug rehab centers in Pennsylvania. You can keep practicing with your therapist or support groups even after your treatment is done, but we encourage you to try practicing it with your family, friends, or at work. With time and sufficient practice, assertive communication becomes natural.

What Are the Four Rules of Assertiveness?

If you are new to assertive communication, there are four simple rules you can follow:

• Address the issue. You want to speak about the situation or a concrete problem and tackle it rather than the person involved in it. For instance, you want to address something that a person said rather than the person itself.
• Own your statement. Use “I” statements to express your feelings. Focus on yourself and not the behavior of the other person. Saying “ I feel that you…”  is still a “ you”  statement. Ensure that you are communicating your feelings and opinions.
• Offer explanation. Be specific so the other person can understand where you’re coming from.
• Express the desired outcome. Communicate your needs and what you would like to see happening from there on. You can offer collaboration and negotiate to achieve a win-win situation.

Practical Steps to Develop Assertiveness

Assertiveness is a skill, and therefore, it can be developed and practiced. Some people develop it early on due to their experiences or the social environment they’re in. However, for some, the first encounter with assertive communication happens during the partial hospitalization program rehab Pennsylvania patients attend. 

No matter where and when you get the chance to work on your assertiveness, these are some steps you can take to build it:

• Practice self-confidence. It takes time to build confidence, but a certainness often flows from it naturally. Remind yourself of your volume before opening a conversation. This can help you come off and sound more assertive.
• Practice tolerating discomfort. Asserting your needs can often be uncomfortable, and you might be worried about tension or conflict. Getting comfortable with this comfort can help you maintain some communication in recovery, even when it becomes uncomfortable.
• Offer positive solutions. If a conflict occurs as a consequence of your communicating your needs and feelings, try to offer solutions or collaboration. Negotiating is an important aspect of successful communication.
• Respect boundaries. Communicate your boundaries but also respect the boundaries of others. The core of assertiveness is respect for others and their opinions and feelings. 
• Practice perseverance. Self-assertion takes courage and patience, especially when the other side shows resistance. If needed, take time out rather than give in prematurely.

Setting Boundaries for Long-Term Sobriety

One of the most important things you can do for yourself to maintain sobriety is to set boundaries. There are different types of boundaries, including physical, emotional, time, and internal (boundaries with yourself). Setting boundaries is not only about figuring out what you are okay with and where your limits are. It’s also being able to communicate that and the repercussions if those boundaries were hurt. Assertive communication in addiction recovery can help with that. 

Your personal boundaries are related to a sense of self-respect. They also refer to your sense of safety and comfort. Healthy boundaries mean that you’re showing respect towards yourself, you feel safe, and nothing is causing discomfort. For example, while in recovery, you might not want to see triggers around the house (physical boundary) and can offer information like whether non-alcoholic beer is safe for recovering alcoholics to help your environment respond to your needs. You might not feel comfortable sharing all your thoughts and feelings (emotional boundary), or you don’t want to participate in certain events (time boundary). Without you communicating your boundaries, people can be completely unaware of what you need or how you feel.

Alternative communication, therefore, helps you set boundaries primarily with other people, contributing to successful recovery and maintenance of sobriety. Remember, you also need to communicate what the negative consequences of hurting your boundaries are. By communicating assertively, you ensure your voice is being heard, and your needs are being met while, at the same time, showing respect and understanding for others.

Seeking Professional Help for Boundary-Setting

Everyone should set personal boundaries in their lives regardless of their mental health state. Healthy boundaries promote well-being. However, setting boundaries is not easy, and you may lack the skills or capacities to do that. In situations like this, you can turn to professionals who can help you by empowering you to take a stand.

While at Little Creek drug rehab Pennsylvania, prescription drug addiction rehab, or any other addiction program, you can count on individual and group work with the psychotherapist whose mission is to help you understand your behavior and your needs. Furthermore, a therapist will help you acquire skills, build confidence, and learn techniques, like assertive communication in addiction recovery, that will help you care for your mental health.

Assertiveness in Recovery is the Key

An important aspect of achieving and maintaining sobriety is communicating your needs, boundaries, and commitment. Whether you’re trying to protect yourself or make amends, assertive communication in addiction recovery can help. You can develop and practice this skill during your rehab program at Little Creek Recovery, for which you can count on Cigna rehab coverage. 

Don’t delay setting boundaries, communicating your needs, and expressing your feelings. Open and honest communication can help you in life. Assertiveness in recovery and life, in general, can act as a protective factor for depression and anxiety and can improve your quality of life.