The Fear of Success
The fear of success has always played a major role in the lives of anyone who finds themselves in the grips of addiction to drugs and alcohol. Success however needs to be defined by the individual and what it means specifically. Our earliest impressions of what success is come from two places, parents and social media (TV), then it branches out to classmates and competitive environments.
As young men enter the recovery process they may not know the answer to any of these questions and are really just finding their way into the world.
Drug and alcohol addiction is the destroyer of intimacy, self-confidence, esteem, boyhooddreams and most of all relationships. A relationship with self and others is severely compromised. Success of any kind is all about the relationship, what our relationship is with one’s self. If this is damaged it could only be passed on to others in a hurtful way. The first thing to be taken away from any person in the progression of addiction is their spiritual foundation. A spiritual foundation is the relationship with the SELF, with a higher power or with others.
The word intimacy for me means, into-me-you-see. The addict or alcoholic is not vulnerable enough to allow you to be intimate with him. Trust honesty and love do not exist in this mindset. The walls of defense are up and he must protect his disease. So, relationships become fractured and success cannot be built. The individual becomes a victim by his own doing, and will blame you for his failures. This is the alcoholic way.
Success can be as simple as accepting your place in the world, who you are, whether you are adopted or the family you are raised by, the people that have been put into your life and all that you have been given to work with while you are here. Success in many cultures has always been thought of as power and monetary status. I know plenty of people who have both and they are empty inside.
We cannot give away what we don’t have; success and relationships go hand and hand. We must let go of fear, you know the False Evidence That Appears Real that is the greatest roadblock to achieving success of any kind.
I suggest you invite your fear to tea, and have a talk with it.
Because it may save your life and those around you. Little Creek strives to pass on the elements of this reading to our residents as we go day by day into our newfound sober life. This way of living takes discipline, dedication, and plenty of love.