How Intimacy Issues Can Lead to Addiction—and What to Do About It

Intimacy issues can make addiction harder to face—and even harder to recover from. If you or someone you care about struggles to connect with others, it can feel isolating. Many people use drugs or alcohol to cope with the pain of emotional distance. But that coping leads to bigger problems. Real recovery means facing what’s underneath the addiction, including fear of closeness. You’re not alone in this. Healing is possible, and support is out there. An addiction treatment center in Pennsylvania can help you work through both substance use and deeper emotional struggles—one step at a time, with real care.

Why People in Recovery Struggle With Intimacy

Intimacy issues are common among those suffering from substance use disorders. What is an intimacy issue? It’s difficulty connecting with others deeply due to fear, trauma, or past hurt. Alcohol or drug addicts aren’t vulnerable enough to allow you to be intimate with them. Thus, many people that currently suffer from addiction or are in addiction recovery struggle with intimacy problems. Many people in alcohol rehab Pennsylvania programs face these same emotional barriers during early recovery. Real trust, honesty, and love don’t exist in this mindset, though. During inactive addiction, the walls of defense are up.

The person with an addiction must protect his or her addictive habits. This causes a lack of authentic intimacy. Thus, many relationships that involve addictions are built on lies, judgments, and false expectations.  Furthermore, individuals that suffer from addiction become victims of their own intimacy problems and will blame you for their failures and fear of intimacy. What are intimacy issues? They involve fear or discomfort with closeness—physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually.

The Four Dimensions of Intimacy Explained

Intimacy has multiple dimensions, according to Healing Together by Wayne Kritsberg). These dimensions include physical closeness and setting boundaries, emotionally surviving conflict, becoming vulnerable, and sharing feelings. They also include sharing the same mentality, a shared value system, common life plans, and conscious living. Additionally, they consist of shared spiritual awareness, practice, and service. People that suffer from intimacy issues often struggle to get close to others or express themselves in these ways. 

Sometimes these types of intimacy struggles can be so overwhelming that they cause individuals to relapse. Thus, to maintain long-term sobriety, it’s imperative that individuals actively work on their various intimacy issues while in drug and alcohol treatment centers in Pennsylvania and recovery. 

How Intimacy Issues Can Help Cause Addiction

Oftentimes there is one or more underlying reasons for why a person starts abusing substances. The most common underlying reason is mental illness. This is because people with mental health disorders often use substances to cope. 

While mental illness is a common trigger for addiction, there are many things that can play into why a person develops a mental illness. For one, it’s possible that individuals can develop mental illnesses as a result of their substance use due to the chemical changes that drugs cause on the brain. Other than that, it’s very common for people to develop mental illnesses due to trauma or intense fears and anxieties. 

One intense fear and form of anxiety that can cause people to develop mental illnesses is the fear of intimacy. People that fear intimacy don’t necessarily fear intimacy itself, but the possible negative outcomes of intimacy. For example, many people that suffer from a fear of intimacy are afraid of getting hurt by someone that they allowed themselves to get close to. Thus, out of fear, many people with intimacy issues avoid getting close to others altogether. 

This is not a good solution to their issues, though, as avoiding intimacy causes people to feel lonely. It also causes people to not have as much support in their lives as they could. Thus, many people with intimacy issues struggle emotionally and mentally through life, which is the reason why many of them may develop mental health disorders that then lead to substance use. Those who turn to pills to cope may eventually need prescription drug addiction treatment to recover fully.

Four Dimensions of Intimacy

There are four major dimensions or types of intimacy. These include physical intimacy, emotional intimacy, mental intimacy, and spiritual intimacy.  People that suffer from a fear of intimacy are usually afraid of getting close to others in these four ways. 

Physical Intimacy Issues and Addiction

People that suffer from physical intimacy issues have a fear of getting physically close to other people. This fear could cause people to struggle to maintain healthy sexual and non-sexual relationships. Thus, many people with physical intimacy issues avoid romantic relationships altogether even though they may really want them. Programs like inpatient drug rehab in Pennsylvania often address these barriers during the early stages of healing. Learning how to deal with affection issues is part of building safe, healthy physical boundaries in recovery.

Many people that struggle with physical intimacy issues also have trouble setting appropriate physical boundaries for themselves with others. As a result, people with physical intimacy issues are often awkwardly standoffish.  Like all intimacy issues, a lack of physical intimacy can cause people to feel alone and isolated, thus opening the door for them to become depressed. Such depressive feelings combined with the anxious feelings that people with intimacy issues already often feel can cause people with physical intimacy issues to then turn to substances to cope. 

Emotional Intimacy Issues and Addiction

People that struggle with emotional intimacy issues often struggle with being vulnerable and sharing their feelings. This is because people that fear emotional intimacy are afraid of getting their feelings hurt by others when they do. People with reassurance seeking intimacy issues often need constant affirmation yet still fear vulnerability and rejection.

Therapies like DBT for substance abuse can help people safely explore and express those fears in recovery. People with emotional intimacy issues also struggle dealing with stress and conflict. As a result, many of these people have depressive tendencies that may cause them to use substances to cope, which then causes them to develop substance addictions. 

Mental Intimacy Issues and Addiction

People with fears of mental intimacy often struggle sharing their deep inner thoughts, plans for life, and values with others. This is likely because such people fear being rejected if they do. Thus, people with mental intimacy problems keep relationships at a shallow level. This, in turn, leads to a shallow, unfulfilling life. 

Feeling unfulfilled can cause people with mental intimacy issues to easily develop mental health disorders. People often cope with these mental health disorders by abusing substances until they form full-fledged substance addictions. Those who turn to stimulants to numb that emptiness may eventually need cocaine addiction rehab support.

Spiritual Intimacy and Addiction

People with a fear of spiritual intimacy stay far away from engaging in activities with others that can feed their soul. This is because such people are afraid to bond with others on that deep of a level. Once again, such a fear of intimacy can cause people to feel alone and thus, develop mental health disorders that can trigger addiction. What is the 72 hour intimacy rule? It suggests waiting at least 72 hours before acting on intense emotional or romantic urges—giving time for clarity and self-reflection.

Signs of Fear of Intimacy

People that fear intimacy tend to be vulnerable with others in all the four dimensions of intimacy. In fact, there are some common signs of fear of intimacy that people with intimacy issues often display regardless of the dimensions of intimacy that they struggle with the most. People showing these signs may benefit from care at dual diagnosis treatment centers Pennsylvania trusts for mental health and addiction.  These common signs are listed below:

• Not showing emotion
• Feeling uncomfortable with physical contact
• Not sharing
• Not wanting to socialize
• Being uncomfortable with nudity
• Feeling as if one isn’t worthy of love
• Having a cold disposition

Addressing Intimacy Issues During Addiction Treatment and Recovery

When people with substance addictions also struggle with intimacy issues, it’s best if they address those intimacy issues while in addiction treatment. This is because doing so will help them be better able to cope with these issues while in recovery. Wondering how to overcome intimacy issues? Start small, focus on trust-building, and seek support during treatment. During addiction recovery, people with intimacy issues should take baby steps.

By baby steps we mean only entertaining and rebuilding relationships with close family members and friends first. Then, as a person becomes more comfortable being intimate with others, venture into being sexually and emotionally intimate with a romantic partner.  In fact, it’s advised that people that are new to recovery not enter a romantic relationship for at least one year. That way they can work on creating authentic intimacy skills without it negatively affecting their recovery. How do you solve intimacy problems? It takes time, therapy, and consistent effort to build real connection.

Get Help for Addiction and Intimacy Issues Today

Intimacy issues don’t go away on their own. They show up in addiction, in recovery, and in relationships that feel stuck or painful. If you’re struggling to connect, it’s not just you. Many people in recovery face the same thing. You don’t have to keep doing it alone or push people away to feel safe. Help is available, and change is possible with the right support. Working through addiction means looking at what’s underneath. That includes how you relate to others. Contact us today if you’re ready to face your addiction and your intimacy issues.